Who The Fuck Is This Guy?

I submitted a few of my blog posts to this webpage and got this:

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Who the fuck is David Foster Wallace?

Hottest Army Ever

THIS is what China should be doing with all those extra girl babies...

Oh, I almost forgot. After the judge left, the Supreme Allied Bailiff got up to talk. She was at least concise and to the point. Her point, however, was that they have an agreement with some children's charity to make it easy for us jurors to donate our compensation. Ya know...for the children. Despite her exhortations to SAVE THE CHILDREN, I was unmoved. That $6 is going home with me. Or at least what's left of it after I pay for my parking.
Perhaps she should have mentioned that some of the children own 2 dogs. Apparently that elevates a child's importance to society?

Two county judges think so...

Jury duty today. I was all excited about, since I think jury duty is pretty important. So far it's been fucking retarded. Everything went as expected, at first. Checked in, signed paperwork, got seated. Then the judge came out to give instructions. Pretty basic stuff. Except she felt the need to blatger on about growing up on the southside, graduating from an all girls high school and how that school is now an all girls college prep school, and that after graduation she got her business and mgmt degrees from UTSA then went to St. Mary's law. After her jibber jabber about growing up she says "one last thing I'd like to say". I expected some final platitude about how justice couldn't be served without the jury process or some bullshit.

Instead, she tells us (awkwardly) that she broke a bone in her foot. And that she's claiming that she broke it by parking her Harley in the gravel and dropping it on her foot. Then saying that another judge says that she should say it was broken by a falling wall while she was walking (yes, walking, not running) out of a burning building after saving a child with two dogs. What the fuck does the number of dogs a child owns have to do with how heroic you are for saving that child? Or maybe the other judge's suggestiong was to save a child AND its 2 dogs? Fuck if I know. My will to live was slipping away so I stopped paying attention. At least she didn't claim she broke it while serving in (the timeframe of) 'Nam like some other politicians might.

I saw this poster in the cafeteria at my kids' school.  I don't think it's appropriate.  It basically says "Attention students: fat dorky kids that wear glasses, like the one in this picture, are just asking to be abused and made fun of.  But please refrain, because you might hurt their feelings.  And since we stop all teasing before it starts, they will be unable to handle the harassment and will end up killing someone.  That someone might be them, but it also might be you.  And when that happens, we won't blame them.  We'll blame you, because we put this poster up to stop you but you teased them anyway.  You bastards."

The fact that this shit goes on in my super-conservative TX school district is terrifying.  I can only imagine what miserable shit must be happening in more "Progressive" districts.  Next thing you know, students will be banned from wearing red, white, and blue because it might offend an immigrant student.

Oh wait...

Badgers

Thanks to sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com I am now thoroughly obsessed by badgers.

I look for badger pictures.  I make badger stuff.

And I worry about angering the badger...